Memiors of Christine Daee
by Keats-and-Whitman
Summary: Christine's final thoughts at the end of "Love Never Dies".


It is funny how fate can work. I never imagined what life had in store for me when I received a letter from America inviting me to sing. It had been so long so I had sung on stage in front of an audience. The only problem was Raoul. He was not the same man I had fallen in love with many years ago at the Paris Opera House. He had become and angry and controlling man, much like my Angel of Music, but Raoul never showed me the level of affection my angel always did.

The one happiness in my life was Gustave. He was my angel in so many ways, and darling and love of my life. He had the best qualities of his father. His talent and true parentage was something I kept locked away in my heart. It was my most difficult secret, but one I cherished.

That secret gave me some of the greatest joys I have ever known. It lead me back to my angel. It gave me Gustave. It gave me the love I had always sought when my father died…

_Before the Performance_

I smiled at my son through the mirror. Before Raoul stopped me from singing, I had always had Gustave with me in my dressing room before each performance. It made me feel closer to my angel of music. It was times like this that I missed my lessons with him. He had made me feel so calm and sure. Back in Paris, I sang every song for him. Tonight I would sing for him once more. _For the last time_. I felt giddy at the thought of performing once more. It felt wonderful to get ready once more with my son at my side. He looked at me with so much love and affection.

I was surprised and delighted when Raoul agreed to let me sing. Singing was my escape. I felt whole and complete. I did not have to pretend to be the happy Countess de Chagny. I was the same happy young girl singing "Think of Me" so long ago. Tears came to my eyes as I remembered that time.

I had been so sad when my father died. He was my last link to Sweden, our home. I had a happy childhood, roaming the countryside with father as he played the violin and I sang. He always told me I looked like mother. She had the same honey-blonde hair and blue eyes as I do. That is why it was easy to believe that Gustave was Raul's son. He had Raul's hair and my eyes. Or so we believed. My angel also had dark hair and blue eyes.

Raul. While he may be different now, I always think of him as my dearest childhood friend, the same boy who saved my scarf. I truly did love all those years ago, and small part of does still. We shared ten years together as husband and wife. But a part of me will always love Erik. Raul gave me the comfort of the past while Erik awakened my soul. Surely you can love two people at the same time but for different reasons? Just as I love Gustave, my father, and Meg.

No. I know that my heart belongs to Erik. It belonged to Raul for a time. But it always belonged to my angel. My choice is made. I have past the point of no return.

_After the performance_

They say that music calms the savage beast, and it has, the savage beast of my heart. I poured out my soul and let world know it belongs to one man: Erik. I felt a flicker of pain as I saw Raul during the performance. He knew that my heart was no longer his. He has lost everything.

At last our love can blossom. These ten long years will soon be past as. I intend to never leave my Erik's side again. He and Gustave have made me whole again. I have never dreamed this would be possible once my father has died. I am truly blessed.

_On the pier_

No. No, not know when everything was going so well. My darling Gustave is safe. My love is safe, but I am in pain, so much pain. My Meg, my dearest friend is crying. I do not understand until Erik holds me. Blood. Blood everywhere. My blood. No. No, it cannot be. I had so many years to look forward too. Years with him, years with Gustave, years as a family, all vanishing before my eyes.

Erik says we can still find a doctor. No, no it is too late. I am running out of time. I who let ten years fade away. Yet I would not trade those ten years for anything. I had a taste of joy, I had my son. I will never watch him become a man. I got to see the man he can be. I got to be closer with his real father. Erik. My one true love. Life has been so cruel to him. At least I can give him one final gift. A gift of pure love: our son.

I look into those eyes as things start to find. "Kiss me one last time," I beg. My angel obeys. A passionate kiss is the last thing I will ever know. My life began with the loss of love, the loss of my father, and it ends with the loss of my son and my love. No. My love has been defined by that love. My father's love guided me to Erik. Erik's love gave me Gustave and my love will be Gustave and Erik together.

I hear my father calling my name. It brings tears to my eyes. I look back to see Erik holding me as Raul and Gustave approach. I smile as I see Gustave embrace Erik. I turn from my father and kiss Gustave's brow one last time. My kiss turns into a breeze. I whisper to my angel, "You alone can make our song take flight. It is beginning now, the music of the light". My angel looks up, almost as if he can hear me. "Goodbye, my love," I say as I walk back to my father. I go on to the next life knowing one thing, love never dies.

_Author's note. A number of years ago, I wrote a memoir for Erik, the Phantom of the Opera. I felt compelled for Christine following the events of "Love Never Dies". Please not I followed the description of Christine from the book which describes her as having honey-blonde hair and blue eyes. I realize the musicals and 2004 movie depict her as having brown hair, but I wanted to stick to source for her appearance. Thank you for reading. I hoped you enjoyed the story. _


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